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‘Wolverine' has no bite for a summer blockbuster

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It is that time again - summer blockbusters compete for our attention, time and hard-earned dollars - well, not my dollars, because I write reviews, but I feel it is my obligation to at least help weed through the barrage of big-budget films hitting theaters. “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” starring Hugh Jackman, hit theaters last weekend and, while the visuals are stunning and most certainly a super-buff Jackman made my heart go pitter-pat, the story and its telling fall flat.

“Wolverine” traces the history of Logan (Jackman) and introduces us to various other key characters in the X-Men series. Going back to 1845, we discover that Victor Creed (excellently and impressively portrayed by Liev Schreiber) is actually Logan's half-brother. After running away with Logan when Logan kills their father, Victor battles alongside him in all of the major wars over the next century. The men survive because their mutant genes make them immortal. When Victor's rogue behavior lands them in front of a firing squad that does them no harm, U.S. military officer William Stryker (a well-chosen Danny Huston) offers them a deal - rot in prison or join his crusade to serve their country as part of a secret mercenary outfit known as Team X.

Joining the brothers are John Wraith (Will i Am), who is capable of teleporting himself from place to place; the hulking and indestructible Fred Dukes (Kevin Durand); the electricity-controlling Bradley (an underused Dominic Monaghan); expert marksman Agent Zero (an overused Daniel Henney); and Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds), who is super with sword and tongue. The men do some pretty horrific things and when Logan finally has enough of the killing, particularly from Victor (now known as Sabretooth), he quits - inciting his brother's wrath.

Six years pass, and now Logan works as a lumberjack in the Canadian Rockies and is romantically involved with beautiful schoolteacher Kayla Silverfox (Lynn Collins). His idyllic, peaceful life is derailed by a tragedy and his discovery that his brother Sabretooth is killing former members of the team. Filled with rage and out for revenge, Logan accepts Stryker's offer to undergo an experimental procedure where adamantium will be bonded to his skeletal structure, thus making him even more indestructible with his natural retractable claws replaced with razor-sharp metal ones. Predictably, Stryker doesn't have good intentions and Logan, a.k.a. Wolverine, sets out to find and stop both Stryker and Sabretooth. Out of necessity, he enlists the aid of Wraith and fellow mutant Remy LeBeau (Taylor Kitsch), a.k.a. Gambit, but his mission is only partially successful.

What ensues is a series of eye-popping battle sequences where CGI is king and the obscenely expensive and spectacular special effects demonstrate amazing advancements in technology. All in all, the film looks incredible - and so does Jackman, who is the most physically perfect specimen of a man in all of Hollywood, if not on the planet. For women, at least, he is a visual magnet, even with the strange coiffure and facial hair and the metal claws that sprout from his fists whenever he gets angry. Assuredly, the PG-13-rated “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” has far more beefcake than cheesecake - as all of the actors are wonderfully buffed up - and that is fine with me. Men will enjoy the other visuals, but might not be so thrilled with the story.

I am not a reader of any of the “X-Men” pulp, but I have friends who are and they tell me that director Gavin Hood's edition of the Marvel comic myth, which has been turned into a sort of live-action video game, is complete and utter nonsense. I wouldn't know, but even so, I found the story over-the-top and riddled with as many holes as if super-marksman Zero took aim at the script with an automatic weapon. I also felt, even with Wolverine, the story lacks quality development. It really is all about the visuals, which were interesting enough to keep me entertained for the nearly two-hour runtime, but which my “X-Men” expert friend found less than fresh and unimpressive.

Certainly, the audience was full of hugely delighted and entertained people, but I did not harbor the same zeal. My son - nearly 30 - was sorely disappointed and is begging to be my guest for Star Trek, hoping for a far better film, but he might have to arm wrestle my husband for the spot. A few small children attended the screening with parents and they were bored during dialogue and romance scenes; I thought the film far too violent for little ones anyway. In the end, I am placing a C- in my gradebook. I wasn't bored and I could watch Jackman stand shirtless and read the phonebook (and would jump at the opportunity).

For more of Laurie Coker's film reviews, to be an amateur film critic, or for chances to win passes to upcoming screenings or prizes, visit www.trueviewre views.net.

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